The Amplified Bible, turn it up to 11

AND THE LORD SAID!  LET THERE BE LIGHT!
No Foamy, the amplified Bible does not mean shout it louder.  Moving on...

The Rapture is tomorrow!  At least, that's what we're being told.  Jesus is gonna come back down from Heaven, kick some ass and take names, and unless we're all followers, we're gonna burn baby burn.

Now look into my tired eyes and see something you recognise: me being sick of 2000 years of "Any day yet!"  My Google Fu has served me well and the little pixies at Wikipedia suggest that there are no less than 10 rapture dates that are already passed.  That's not to mention the many other prophesies made by pseudo-christain scaremongers that have yet to occur, and I'm also not counting the inevitable thousands of doomsday prophesies laid down by other religions in the past <insert length of time you believe your calendar started according to your religion here> years.

What really grinds my gears is not so much the idea of a rapture but the idea that we'll all receive a dip in the lake of fire, so anybody not wearing one-million sunblock is gonna have a really bad day.  Not that you'd believe it, but I was educated in a Roman Catholic high school.  Go figure, but not being ignorant I did keep my ears open and try to learn a little bit about the faith.

Before I start picking apart and throwing in my own ideas, let's take an academic viewpoint.  You can either choose to believe the Bible word for word, as a literal interpretation.  In doing so then you must put your full faith in human writings being fully accurate,  and are therefore putting faith in something other than the Lord, and you're gonna burn.

So if you're hedging your bets, the only acceptable course is to realise that humans are fallible and so the writings might be flawed in one way or another, and that's it's our interpretation that is important.  So if you want to avoid having to go hiking with Dante, you need to think for yourself.

That means actually reading and thinking about what's said.  Now I'm anticipating a bit of "pics or it didn't happen" or "ah but you didn't cite this passage or that passage".  Let me be clear, I'm going to get into a Biblical pissing match about which passage trumps that gospel and whatever.   I read a good chunk of it, and here's what I think.  Disagree with me if you like, that's your right.  Shut up and live your life.

So my interpretation is that Hell is not a pit of fire and death where Furbies sing Friday for eternity, more that Hell is the absence of God's mercy and forgiveness.  This is evident in Catholicism in the sacrament of confession, that unless we open ourselves to God and ask forgiveness, we're going to Hell.  It's also the case they make for baptism and communion, that in order to be saved you need to bear witness to and welcome God's will into your life.

That means that Hell on Earth can't happen in the literal sense, the sky falling and so on.  It means that unless you take responsibility for what you do, you're putting yourself in Hell.

So that rules out the argument going at the moment that the world is on a one way ticked to Armageddon.  It seems that what's happening at the moment is folk are looking around and going HOLY SHIT!  THE WORLD'S GOT BAD PEOPLE IN IT!  AND THEY'RE DOING BAD THINGS!  THAT MEANS WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE.

Newsflash fuckers, that's been the case for <insert your calendar start date here> years.  In fact, religion has been used over the centuries to keep people in line.  What a great way to keep your people in line than threatening them with fire and brimstone if they don't behave.

If you believe that the state of the world now is an indicator of apocalypse, what about the repeated bombings into 2010, globally.  What about Swine Flu, SARS, or Bird Flu.  What about 7/7.  What about 9/11.  What about the Christmas Eve bomings in Jakarta in 2000.  The Woolworths firebomb in Belfast in 1995.  The whole Northern Ireland crisis.  The 1980 Iranian Embassy Siege.  Lockerbie.  Rwanda.  Armenia.  The Cold War.  Cuban Missile Crisis.  World War 2.  World War 1.  The Wall Street Bombing in 1920.  The Creation of the KKK in the 19th century.  All the wars that went along with the British Empire.

I could fill pages with this stuff, the fact is, humans have been killing each other either officially as countries united or unofficially as vigilantes and terrorists.  The reaction the Hadron Collider was similar to the reaction to nuclear power as was the reaction to electricity and all other new technology.  We fear what we don't understand.  Everything points to the apocalypse, every religious book has a doomsday, every cult, every sect, every country, everyone on Earth believes the end is coming, we just disagree on when.  There's no way to fix a date.

Don't get me started on if, IF, your government knew the end was nigh, there's no way they'd tell us.  Mass panic would bring about it's own apocalypse.

The bottom line is either the rapture will happen, or it won't.  If it does, nobody can know how that's gonna go down.  I'd suggest that second guessing God and acting like you know what's going to happen will land you eternity in Hell.  The point of salvation is to put faith in God, not decide you've got it all figured out.

 If it doesn't, well, you rapture lot are gonna look really stupid.  Again.  And even Alan Rickman and Alannis Morissette, Jay, Silent Bob and fucking Superman can't save you.

Having thought about it

I have a dangerous problem.  Some people think it's me not being able to keep my mouth shut.  In actual fact, it's not willing to be ignorant and getting frustrated when others are.


Take our Justice Secretary for example: I'm already sick of an over inflated media hype over "those comments"  Rape is rape, no question, but the law does classify rape in two categories: common law and statutory and if you listen to what he said, albeit pretty ham-fistedly, that is what he was alluding to.


Here's the transcript:

Clarke: Well, I must stop you repeating this total nonsense…assuming you and I are talking about rape in the ordinary conversational sense. Some man has forcefully, with a bit of violence.

Derbyshire: Rape is rape, with respect.

Clarke: No it's not, and if an 18-year-old has sex with a 15-year-old and she's perfectly willing, that is rape. That's 'cause she's underage, can't consent. Anybody has sex with a 15-year-old, it's rape. So what you and I are talking about, we're talking about a man forcibly having sex with a woman and she doesn't want to. That is rape. Serious crime, of course it's a serious crime. And I'm very glad that people do now got to the police and report it. There used to be a taboo against it, in a crazy way.

Now if you actually look at what he said, he's making a distinction between rape being using force or other means that could include GBH or any other form of "date rape" and having prima facie consentual sex with an under age girl, where the issue is not overcoming denial of consent to intercourse, but the victim not being legally capable of consenting.

That's why, whilst sex is legal at sixteen, and adult in a position of trust, for example a teacher or tutor cannot legally have sex with a pupil until they are eighteen.  The issue is not having ability to consent in the first place vs overcoming ability to consent by some other means. 

That in law is the difference between what he classified as "serious rape" and the alternative.

Undoubtedly, Clarke used the wrong words, and in the wrong context.  He's a human, so he's fallible, and he's a man, so he can't fully understand, for want of better terminology, "the world of rape".  The fact is, only victims do.  

You can argue on the reduction in sentencing policy, you can argue against the legal split between common law and statutory rape.  Do not, however, demand a man resign because he fluffed his words in an uncomfortable situation.  

If we look at his response, he apologised if he gave an impression that was not his opinion.  The lesson is don't speak to be understood, speak so that you cannot be misunderstood.  

So let me refresh, so I cannot be misunderstood  1) Rape is rape.  2) The law categorises rape into two forms: lack of ability to consent, and overcoming lack of consent. 3) He got his words wrong.

Now get over it, go back to your lives and stop vilifying a man who made an honest mistake.  If you have a problem, campaign against the proposed reduction in criminal sentencing by 50% for a guilty plea.  THAT is what we should be up in arms about.

What's this all about?

The internet is already full of nonsensical radical an uneducated opinions, and now I've had the cheek to start a blog.  It'll likely never be read, and will have as much effect on the masses as UKIP but at least now I'll justifiably be able to say, "Don't you read my blog" with an air of incredulousness.

I debated for a while about what the first post would be, and I settled on a few topics: Assange, our much maligned Justice Secretary, piracy, big pharma, big tobacco, big society...

It made my head hurt, so instead, I'm going to spend the first blog doing shameless plugging.  That's what the internet is for, right?  Well, unless you live on Avenue Q.

In an ironic twist, the first plug is for another blog, samandme.org.
I was in high school with Sam, though we were more casual acquaintances than anything.  I won't wax lyrical on content or purpose, but I will say you should read it, it's well written and deserves recognition.

The second plug is for my Muay Thai class.  Go to www.cumbernauldmuaythai.co.uk
Read our marketing info
Join.

I'll now go and collect my thoughts again and have a rant later, probably around dinner time.