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I haven't had a post in a while because until recently nothing has really wound me up enough to draw forth the Stressed Eric style ranting from my cranium.  It likely has something to do with a combination of burying myself in my work, drinking red wine and watching Frasier.

Consequently I haven't been able to find a single, large issue that's ground my gears enough to generate a well thought out and (allegedly) well written article.  Instead, here are a couple of recent things that have hit my radar.

Pride in conscious incompetence: people who know they aren't any good at something, whether it's driving, their work, cooking, anything.  It's not the incompetence that bothers me, it's the pride in not being competent!

Here's an example.   Person A sucks at a sport.  There are a number of logical and socially acceptable options.  The first, is to humbly accept that said sport is not for them, and say nothing more about it other than, "I'm not really good at it, so I don't do it".  The second is to seek tuition so that performance may improve.

The one that is not acceptable is to completely disregard something just because Person A can't do it.
Excuse me?  "I'm no good at that but <insert excuse here>/<insert slur devaluing the entire sport>.

Now I'm not confining my comments to sports, for sports read job, work, hobby, craft, anything that a person does in a normal life cycle.

Just because you suck at something does not give you the right to demean those who are skilled at it.  It does not give you the right to disregard the activity as a whole, just because it's "not your bag".

Here's another example.  I hate football.  I find it boring, and I can't play it.  I'd have more luck trying to solve African hunger with a packet of twig lets than I would have trying to score a hat-trick.  The difference is, I recognise the training and skill that goes into playing football.  I recognise the social contributions made by the industry; specifically the amount of tax revenue it generates to pay for things like our roads, NHS, defence and other lovely things we take for granted.  It gets kids off streets, it brings communities together.

It generate senseless murders and racism, bigotry and sectarianism granted...oh wait, no it doesn't, a mal-educated minority use it as a vehicle for their own sordid affairs, but it in itself does not cause these problems.

Another example, pop music.
I despise Justin Beiber and I'm pretty sure that Lady Gaga, Nicky Minaj and Ke$ha are all the same cyborg sent from the future to cut the throat of real music and drink it's still warm blood.

I do however recognise there are real people making a real wage from these artists' (and I use the term loosely) stage shows; lighting techs; roadies, backing dancers...

I guess in summation I'm saying do not write of something or someone just because you can't do what they do, whether you believe it merits or not.

Most certainly, DO NOT be proud of under achievement or lack of skill.  If you can't do something, humbly accept it and move on.


The second thing that's annoyed me this week is this nonsense about the travelling community down south being "evicted".  There are plenty of bleeding hearts our there giving a lot of noise about communist/fascist/totalitarian/tory police forces using excessive force.  Here's the rundown:

Travelling community don't want to travel?

You don't get to sit down somewhere and build houses.  Planning permission wasn't granted, and things like planning permission and building inspectors exist to stop people throwing up shanty towns in the middle of nowhere and then dying when the whole poorly built lot come crashing down in a burning pile of limbs and torsos.

Police brutality?
Ok, here's a notion, if you don't want to be set upon by the authorities, don't throw bricks at them.
Most of the issues have been cause by the bleeding heart protestors.  As far as I've read, the travelling community who lived there, bar a few (as is always the case in all things) were happy to move on.  It wasn't until these far left activists got involved that the situation turned nasty.

Here's a notion: quit your interfering, your protesting about something that doesn't concern you, got to work, pay tax and contribute to society.

Don't like the way it was handled?  There's a democratic process for that.
In Libya, there were protests and a civil way against a dictator with a 42 year record of violence.
In Iraq, a dictator was removed from power, a dictator who used to cut out the tongues of those who spoke against him.
All over the Arab world uprisings against REAL fascism and REAL totalitarianism are having a REAL positive effect on people's lives.

In the UK, we protest about things that don't concern us, just so we can feel good.  It makes no difference to anyone other than the residents of that town whether the travellers move on or stay, so why should anyone else get involved.

While I'm on the subject of riots, occupy all the streets?  Rally against corporate greed?

Sit down and shut up.  Until you can organise your rabble into a coherent movement with a list of demands and an idea of how to get there instead of a bunch of idealistic nonsense with no concrete foundation, stay at home.

I'm done, I can feel a headache coming on so I'm going to do my usual and bury myself in my work and drink some more claret.

Had to recharge my muse

It's been a good bit since I posted, which is largely due to focusing on my career for the time being.
Recently, the muse part of my brain got up in the middle of the night, punched me in the face and shouted "OI!  You're ignoring me!"

I felt compelled to shut him up, so I gave him a pen and paper, sent him to the corner and told him to write me something.

Unfortunately my muse is a little bit unstable, so his unintelligible rantings met my shredder and I had to come up with something myself.

Today's topics are grammar, spelling and manners.

I'm not exactly old fashioned, but I'm wondering what happened to being able to speak and write properly, and conduct oneself appropriately in public.

Facebook is the main offender here.  I don't mean txtspk, which I've covered before, and my thoughts on this are well documented.  Guys, our phones can handle more than 144 characters in an sms now, we do not need to to shorten our messages like that.

I'm referring to the inability to differentiate between you, you're and your, and their, there and they're.  Then there's the amazingly idiotic "could of" instead of "could have".  Regional dialects are ok, but please spell them properly.  "Cannae" is not the same as "canny".  That word has an altogether discrete meaning.  Before you jump on that, discrete and discreet are different too.

For all who will play the "bt iz Facebook, hoo carez?' card, you should.
Employers will google your name to see if they can find your Facebook.  Do you really want the person considering you for job you're applying for at the law firm/accountancy firm/hospital/insert job type here to see you shotgunning a bottle of tequila?  Or comparing your "good communication skills" with your status updates that rung along the lines of "ZOMG look at this it so cute your gonna luv it!" or "Y do sum ppl neva get tha messag!" and so on.

Please, just stop it.  It makes you look like a moron.

As for etiquette, when did it become ok to become a dick in public?  Apologies for my profanity, but there's no easier way to say it.  I'm talking about allowing your kids to run rampant while you gab on about hairspray in the aisles; talking or texting on your mobile phone while I'm trying to hold a conversation; calling me pal or buddy or mate when I don't even know you; speaking really loudly on your mobile on public transport; and my pet hate, poor table manners.

Since when was talking while you eat, chewing with your mouth open, and burping loudly at table acceptable?  It's not, and never has been.  Stop it now.

I despair at this, not because it's "the yoof of today" that are doing this, but it's the bloody adults!  The ones who complain loudly about kids these days being louts and antisocial and all the rest.  Newsflash: you're just as bad as they are.  Scratch that, you're worse, since you should know better and are being hypocritical.

Etiquette is important, and unless you're attending Ascot or moving in the upper circles of society (a hierarchical society blog will follow soon), then it's basic, simple and easy.  People tend to shy away from etiquette, thinking it stuffy, old fashioned and elitist, when in fact etiquette and manners are simple, easy and help everyone around you to have a pleasant and enjoyable time whether in your direct company or otherwise.

In a nutshell, knowingly being ignorant is not acceptable, rudeness less so.  I'm convinced that continually observing this is what's going to turn my liver into pate, as my coping mechanism appears to be a stiff martini at the end of the day: stirred of course, never shaken.

The Amplified Bible, turn it up to 11

AND THE LORD SAID!  LET THERE BE LIGHT!
No Foamy, the amplified Bible does not mean shout it louder.  Moving on...

The Rapture is tomorrow!  At least, that's what we're being told.  Jesus is gonna come back down from Heaven, kick some ass and take names, and unless we're all followers, we're gonna burn baby burn.

Now look into my tired eyes and see something you recognise: me being sick of 2000 years of "Any day yet!"  My Google Fu has served me well and the little pixies at Wikipedia suggest that there are no less than 10 rapture dates that are already passed.  That's not to mention the many other prophesies made by pseudo-christain scaremongers that have yet to occur, and I'm also not counting the inevitable thousands of doomsday prophesies laid down by other religions in the past <insert length of time you believe your calendar started according to your religion here> years.

What really grinds my gears is not so much the idea of a rapture but the idea that we'll all receive a dip in the lake of fire, so anybody not wearing one-million sunblock is gonna have a really bad day.  Not that you'd believe it, but I was educated in a Roman Catholic high school.  Go figure, but not being ignorant I did keep my ears open and try to learn a little bit about the faith.

Before I start picking apart and throwing in my own ideas, let's take an academic viewpoint.  You can either choose to believe the Bible word for word, as a literal interpretation.  In doing so then you must put your full faith in human writings being fully accurate,  and are therefore putting faith in something other than the Lord, and you're gonna burn.

So if you're hedging your bets, the only acceptable course is to realise that humans are fallible and so the writings might be flawed in one way or another, and that's it's our interpretation that is important.  So if you want to avoid having to go hiking with Dante, you need to think for yourself.

That means actually reading and thinking about what's said.  Now I'm anticipating a bit of "pics or it didn't happen" or "ah but you didn't cite this passage or that passage".  Let me be clear, I'm going to get into a Biblical pissing match about which passage trumps that gospel and whatever.   I read a good chunk of it, and here's what I think.  Disagree with me if you like, that's your right.  Shut up and live your life.

So my interpretation is that Hell is not a pit of fire and death where Furbies sing Friday for eternity, more that Hell is the absence of God's mercy and forgiveness.  This is evident in Catholicism in the sacrament of confession, that unless we open ourselves to God and ask forgiveness, we're going to Hell.  It's also the case they make for baptism and communion, that in order to be saved you need to bear witness to and welcome God's will into your life.

That means that Hell on Earth can't happen in the literal sense, the sky falling and so on.  It means that unless you take responsibility for what you do, you're putting yourself in Hell.

So that rules out the argument going at the moment that the world is on a one way ticked to Armageddon.  It seems that what's happening at the moment is folk are looking around and going HOLY SHIT!  THE WORLD'S GOT BAD PEOPLE IN IT!  AND THEY'RE DOING BAD THINGS!  THAT MEANS WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE.

Newsflash fuckers, that's been the case for <insert your calendar start date here> years.  In fact, religion has been used over the centuries to keep people in line.  What a great way to keep your people in line than threatening them with fire and brimstone if they don't behave.

If you believe that the state of the world now is an indicator of apocalypse, what about the repeated bombings into 2010, globally.  What about Swine Flu, SARS, or Bird Flu.  What about 7/7.  What about 9/11.  What about the Christmas Eve bomings in Jakarta in 2000.  The Woolworths firebomb in Belfast in 1995.  The whole Northern Ireland crisis.  The 1980 Iranian Embassy Siege.  Lockerbie.  Rwanda.  Armenia.  The Cold War.  Cuban Missile Crisis.  World War 2.  World War 1.  The Wall Street Bombing in 1920.  The Creation of the KKK in the 19th century.  All the wars that went along with the British Empire.

I could fill pages with this stuff, the fact is, humans have been killing each other either officially as countries united or unofficially as vigilantes and terrorists.  The reaction the Hadron Collider was similar to the reaction to nuclear power as was the reaction to electricity and all other new technology.  We fear what we don't understand.  Everything points to the apocalypse, every religious book has a doomsday, every cult, every sect, every country, everyone on Earth believes the end is coming, we just disagree on when.  There's no way to fix a date.

Don't get me started on if, IF, your government knew the end was nigh, there's no way they'd tell us.  Mass panic would bring about it's own apocalypse.

The bottom line is either the rapture will happen, or it won't.  If it does, nobody can know how that's gonna go down.  I'd suggest that second guessing God and acting like you know what's going to happen will land you eternity in Hell.  The point of salvation is to put faith in God, not decide you've got it all figured out.

 If it doesn't, well, you rapture lot are gonna look really stupid.  Again.  And even Alan Rickman and Alannis Morissette, Jay, Silent Bob and fucking Superman can't save you.

Having thought about it

I have a dangerous problem.  Some people think it's me not being able to keep my mouth shut.  In actual fact, it's not willing to be ignorant and getting frustrated when others are.


Take our Justice Secretary for example: I'm already sick of an over inflated media hype over "those comments"  Rape is rape, no question, but the law does classify rape in two categories: common law and statutory and if you listen to what he said, albeit pretty ham-fistedly, that is what he was alluding to.


Here's the transcript:

Clarke: Well, I must stop you repeating this total nonsense…assuming you and I are talking about rape in the ordinary conversational sense. Some man has forcefully, with a bit of violence.

Derbyshire: Rape is rape, with respect.

Clarke: No it's not, and if an 18-year-old has sex with a 15-year-old and she's perfectly willing, that is rape. That's 'cause she's underage, can't consent. Anybody has sex with a 15-year-old, it's rape. So what you and I are talking about, we're talking about a man forcibly having sex with a woman and she doesn't want to. That is rape. Serious crime, of course it's a serious crime. And I'm very glad that people do now got to the police and report it. There used to be a taboo against it, in a crazy way.

Now if you actually look at what he said, he's making a distinction between rape being using force or other means that could include GBH or any other form of "date rape" and having prima facie consentual sex with an under age girl, where the issue is not overcoming denial of consent to intercourse, but the victim not being legally capable of consenting.

That's why, whilst sex is legal at sixteen, and adult in a position of trust, for example a teacher or tutor cannot legally have sex with a pupil until they are eighteen.  The issue is not having ability to consent in the first place vs overcoming ability to consent by some other means. 

That in law is the difference between what he classified as "serious rape" and the alternative.

Undoubtedly, Clarke used the wrong words, and in the wrong context.  He's a human, so he's fallible, and he's a man, so he can't fully understand, for want of better terminology, "the world of rape".  The fact is, only victims do.  

You can argue on the reduction in sentencing policy, you can argue against the legal split between common law and statutory rape.  Do not, however, demand a man resign because he fluffed his words in an uncomfortable situation.  

If we look at his response, he apologised if he gave an impression that was not his opinion.  The lesson is don't speak to be understood, speak so that you cannot be misunderstood.  

So let me refresh, so I cannot be misunderstood  1) Rape is rape.  2) The law categorises rape into two forms: lack of ability to consent, and overcoming lack of consent. 3) He got his words wrong.

Now get over it, go back to your lives and stop vilifying a man who made an honest mistake.  If you have a problem, campaign against the proposed reduction in criminal sentencing by 50% for a guilty plea.  THAT is what we should be up in arms about.

What's this all about?

The internet is already full of nonsensical radical an uneducated opinions, and now I've had the cheek to start a blog.  It'll likely never be read, and will have as much effect on the masses as UKIP but at least now I'll justifiably be able to say, "Don't you read my blog" with an air of incredulousness.

I debated for a while about what the first post would be, and I settled on a few topics: Assange, our much maligned Justice Secretary, piracy, big pharma, big tobacco, big society...

It made my head hurt, so instead, I'm going to spend the first blog doing shameless plugging.  That's what the internet is for, right?  Well, unless you live on Avenue Q.

In an ironic twist, the first plug is for another blog, samandme.org.
I was in high school with Sam, though we were more casual acquaintances than anything.  I won't wax lyrical on content or purpose, but I will say you should read it, it's well written and deserves recognition.

The second plug is for my Muay Thai class.  Go to www.cumbernauldmuaythai.co.uk
Read our marketing info
Join.

I'll now go and collect my thoughts again and have a rant later, probably around dinner time.